I'M A COELIAC GET ME OUT OF HERE! : 10 Common Struggles Faced by Coeliacs and Gluten Intolerant People

Comment down below if you or a gluten free friend have experienced any  of these:

1. "Finding ourselves" whilst backpacking is all fine and well until someone says ‘should we grab a bite somewhere?’

We may recite “Je souffre d’une maladie qui s’appelle la maladie coeliaque et je dois suivre un régime absolument sans gluten” in the hotel reception like it’s our National 5 speaking exam again, but inevitably, it concludes with us panicking, forgetting and shouting “Sans gluten!” at the poor waiter. 

The good news is that this lovely website can save us from embarrassment… Just print out a few of their language cards and bon voyage! 

2. Here we are… just hiding from all the gluten 

“Would you like to see the avoiding gluten menu? Or maybe the low gluten menu, the ever so slightly sensitive to gluten menu, the dodging gluten menu, or the ghosting gluten menu?...”  

Do I need to go on?

NO. 

Is it sooo much to ask for a ‘Certified Gluten Free’ menu? 

We understand restaurants don’t want to be sued but sometimes we just want a burger and chips which won’t make us regret our life choices.  

3. Missing: Gluten Free Sandwiches: If found, please contact your local coeliacs and gluten intolerant citizens

Searching hopelessly in Costa’s, Starbucks, Café Nero, Tesco Express and the Sainsbury’s Local for a quick and easy gluten free sandwich (or wrap) whilst out and about. Some lucky sods will have nabbed the last ones in the M&S Food Court. 

Then being told by staff it was because of ‘reduced stock’ due to Covid-19 and evidently gluten free products don’t make the cut.  Where would we be without the M&S Café baked potatoes?

4. Getting territorial over our biscuits 

Don’t even try getting close to our gluten free section in the cupboard. 

If we walk into the kitchen and find any muggles eating one of our ‘special’ biscuits (we can only get from one specific shop when on holiday in Spain)… they better run. 

5. Where are all my ‘G’s at?

Okay, so we understand there are lots of benefits to being a Vegan or a Vegetarian… but we have a MEDICAL CONDITION. Our immune system will literally attack us if we eat gluten. 

But, by all means, please cover 60% of your menu with ‘V’s for Vegetarian and ‘Ve’s for Vegan when 0% is labelled gluten free. 

6. To throw hands or not to throw hands 

We make sure at least three different staff members assure us that the chocolate cake is DEFINITELY gluten free, then two hours later learn it DEFINITELY wasn’t. 

Not to be dramatic, but we know being ‘glutened’ is literally the worst thing ever. 

For any non GF people… imagine your worst ever hangover and your worst period pain (or abdominal pain for the lads) combine, and there you have it. 

After we feel some semblance of our normal selves again, we face the decision whether to call the café and get aggy or not... It's probably best if we do call to avoid it happening to another coeliac and help improve the hospitality sector! 

7. Trying not to sound like a try hard millennial in a small town pub when we ask the bartender if they have any gluten free beer

 It’s a sad day for a coeliac when we learn that a cheeky Corona on the patio or pint of Tennent's at the local is a no-no and only replaced by the sheer joy when a bartender says ‘of course we do!’  

We then forget all the places which reminded us although Vodka and Tequila are gluten free, that does not mean we should down five double vodka cranberries. 

8. “Go on, I’m sure a little bit won’t hurt” 

Never. I repeat, never, say this to a coeliac please. And that goes for calling us ‘fussy eaters’ too.  

We can confirm that it does in fact hurt, Tracey… so please stop giving us evil glares across the room for not trying your prized traybake.  

9. Living off peanuts or overpriced crisps on a flight or train journey 

So, we’re flying with United from Edinburgh to New York. They bring us a great gluten free meal. It has a somewhat edible chicken dish and a blueberry muffin, what a treat!  

We may be so hungover from the gluten free vodka from the night before that we can only nibble, but at least we have the option. 

No need to stress making a sandwich during the last hotel breakfast (which will inevitably end up squashed at the bottom of our bag). Only, when we get on the return flight, they inform us there is no option for a gluten free meal when flying New York to Edinburgh. Why United? Whyyyyyy? 

10. Feeling like a child at Christmas when we find a new product in the ‘Free From’ section

Dancing down the aisles in Tesco like a maniac. 

However, we will just be approaching the checkout and realise it’s not gluten free and some evil person has just ditched it on the shelf and got our hopes up. 

If you enjoyed these, go on and send them to another gluten free pal for a giggle! 

It's Autumn, which means it's officially soup season everyone!!! 

Follow Glasgow Gluten Free on Instagram and watch the newest IGTV on how to make GF Roasted Sweet Potato & Carrot Soup.